I was waiting at the school gate for my daughter yesterday and one of the mums piped up, “Isabella looked lost at the sports carnival yesterday.” She’s referring to the sports carnival I didn’t go to.
“Oh”, I said. “She seemed fine when she came home. What do you mean – lost?”
“Well she just looked lost. She didn’t know what to do.” Translation: YOU’RE SUCH A SLACK MUM. YOU DIDN’T EVEN GO TO THE SCHOOL CARNIVAL!! BUT I WAS THERE. I’M A GOOD MUM. That’s how I read it anyway.
Then there’s the fact that I had to leave my daughter at school an hour early on a freezing cold morning because I had to get to another school to teach scripture. I noticed this morning that she still has the texta marks on her hand from the carnival which shouts to all the mums and all the teachers, “I haven’t had a bath for three days!” Not to mention the fact that I gave her vegemite crackers for lunch today.. and yesterday because I don’t have any bread. My kids are miserable, I have fresh vegies rotting in the garage because I don’t have time to put them away and when my son wet his pants this morning (making us late for school) I flushed babywipes down the toilet. So there you go. This week, I’m pretty much failing at everything. My house is a pigsty, we haven’t eaten a proper meal for days, Mt Washmore is becoming more insurmountable by the day and I have to wash plates before we can eat because the cupboard’s empty – they’re all dirty.
I’ve been feeling pretty sad for myself. I know this little domestic blip isn’t the end of the world but really, when you’re living in a pigsty and you’re exhausted and your husband works long hours and there’s no end in sight; it can be a pretty bleak place to be. I find myself wondering why I’m so tired. I’m not slack – I work really hard! Why, then, can I not keep up with my life?
I have no idea why everything is in such a mess at the moment or why the smallest of tasks seems so big. I’m realising something though, as I sit at my dining table typing this out while my son wails from the other room for a dummy he really needs to give up; sometimes we just fail for a time and maybe that’s okay. Everything is a mess and a stress and I’m exhausted.. but it’s only for a season. I don’t know why this week has been such a write-off but do I really need to know? God says if we surrender our lives to Him that He will guide our steps so maybe this week is meant to be a bit horrible. Maybe there’s a purpose in that.
We all fall short at times and we will eventually pick it back up again. Sometimes we fail at things we can usually manage, but thankfully it’s only for a season.
So how’s your day going? Are you floundering like me or has this week been a smooth enjoyable one?
Share your thoughts if you’d like to.. we’re all in this together!
Have a great weekend – hopefully this ‘season’ will end before then ;o)
NB: I have since quit teaching scripture – I was very unhappy about having to leave Isabella at school so early…